It's two in the afternoon and it's Mother's Day and it is raining like crazy. My two sons are sleeping and my daughter has gone out with her fiance and his family for Mother's Day brunch. Will is at the office. So, here I sit, with my two faithful dogs, looking out at the rain and wind. The lovely fuchsia plant I bought for the patio is destroyed. Thanks wind.
Not that I mind being alone, it's actually a very pleasant relief, but there is something about being alone on Mother's Day when you have three kids. And to be fair it's my own fault that I am in this state. I raised my children to believe that holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Sweetest Day etc. were made up by the greeting card and chocolate industries in order to increase sales. Of all the things I tried to teach them this was one of the few things they actually believed!
I remember when my daughter, Miriam, was six years old and she had come home from school very excited because they had made a Mother's Day bouquet. "Thank you, sweetie," I said with a big smile on my face, "They're beautiful."
"They're ugly," said Josh, the eldest child who was eleven at the time. "No one has ever heard of purple and brown tulips before."
"Besides," piped in Ben, "Mom doesn't believe in Mother's Day, or Father's Day, or even Valentine's Day. They're dumb ol' holidays made up so people will buy cards and flowers and candy and jewellery."
"And she refuses to have a birthday," said Josh.
Miriam thought about this for a while with a look of consternation on her face. "But if she doesn't have Mommy's Day and birthdays and we don't have Christmas 'cause we're Jewish, when do we get to buy Mommy a present?"
The two boys looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. "Don't know," said Josh.
I smiled when my daughter became annoyed. "There must be a time when we buy a present for Mommy. How else can we show her we love her?"
That got all three kids thinking. Suddenly Ben's face lit up. "I've got it," he said triumphantly. "We can have the Just Because Day."
"What's that?" snorted Josh.
"We'll give Mom presents for 'Just Because,' any time we want to. That way it'll be a surprise for her and we can have as many as we want."
"But 'Just Because?' 'Just Because' why? What does that mean?" said Josh.
"I get it," said Miriam. "It's just 'cause we love her!"
"Exactly!" crowed Ben. "It's the best. Then we never forget the day because it's when we want to have it."
Well, that particular year I had four 'Just Because' days and there was a lot of pomp and circumstance that went along with the days. One time I even got a crown, albeit a Burger King crown (remember those days?) but nonetheless a crown.
As the years passed we had a lot of 'Just Because' days. I became the one who had the most 'Just Because' days for each of my kids. It became our special time. Even today I try to have a 'Just Because' day for each child at least once a month.
And do I get any 'Just Because' days. Hmm.
Last week Ben made a fabulous gourmet dinner for Will and me...flowers on the table, wine, a salad with rose petals in it....beautiful.
"Why such a feast?" I remember asking him.
Ben shrugged and smiled. "Oh no reason, just because."
Happy Mother's Day to me!